Daddy's Corner Part 2

Its been a while since my first post, but since the most wonderful thing has happened in recent weeks I feel a need to boast and show my happiness on paper (or keyboard). After many anticlimactic and sometimes agonizing OB appointments the hard work and commitment of attending these things has finally paid off. For those of you that have not had the experience of attending an OBGYN appointment with your significant other let me quickly tell you what I mean by agonizing. First of all the waiting room... Annoying kids and crying babies and no other men in sight (I must be the only baby's daddy to be in Las Vegas that cares, or maybe some of these expecting mothers in town don't know who the daddy is considering the office is by UMC). With no men frequenting the waiting room the magazine selection is horrible. Expectant Mother, Marie Clarie, Your fetus and You, and Gardasil pamphlets are all that litters this place and it gets worse once you go into the Doctors office and he begins his work. How is it that this guy (OBGYN) gets to do things to your wife that any other dude would get dropped for immediately after he says "Hello Mike, I am Dr. Spoon" and shakes your hand? Right away this guy goes to second and then third base if you know what I mean. Not to mention that our particular Doc is in his early forty's, not bad looking, in pretty good shape and has a tan! What happened to an old German lady being your OB? Nice choice Carrie. And she has been seeing this dude for years! Sure its cool when you hear the baby's heart beat, but what you have to do in the first trimester to get to that point is even worse than second base. Its like stuff you see at your Buddy's bachelor party or at a bar in Thailand. But I digress. And for the record I have never been to Thailand, but have heard stories. All of this pain and heart ache during four months of appointments was worth the most recent result. During our last visit the distinguished Dr. was not present. This appointment was with an ultrasound tech who was female. And funny she new how to get a great visual of the baby by using a different ultrasound probe and putting it on Carrie's stomach. And the lovely ultrasound tech found something that Dr. Spoon never found. A PENIS. MY SON'S PENIS. This great gal proved with one swipe of her magic ultrasound wand what I have been hoping for all along. A little boy that I can teach all manly things to like fishing, and golf (as soon as I figure out how to play), and how to throw a football, and to tie a tie, and to shoot whiskey, and choose the right hair product... er OK that's enough manly stuff. He is going to be such a stud. Oh and for those of you who want to know how to do it I have the answer. #1. is a positive mental attitude and visualization #2. is probably to PG13 even for this post, but if you really want to know, you have my number.